How many of us actually have real, true self confidence? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you can attain all of the goals you want to accomplish in your life? Are you always building yourself up, or bringing yourself down? Do you constantly tell others how amazing they are, yet ignore how amazing you are? Are you uncomfortable being alone with yourself?  There is only one person in this world that is always with you, and that’s you.  You cannot hide from yourself. Since you can’t run away from yourself, it’s time to learn to love and appreciate yourself, and it’s time to become your best friend.

People who struggle with anxiety and depression, tend to have very little self confidence.  When I was going through my anxiety, I really disliked myself.  I thought I was the biggest failure.  I looked at every other person and thought, “Why am I so weak?” I believed that everyone else could handle anything that life threw at them but me.  I was so angry at myself for letting myself be so weak.  I also depended on other people to make it through each day.  I did’t want to ever be alone, especially alone with just my thoughts.  The places, people, and things around me are what defined me.  I had no self confidence at that time, or self esteem.  Even if you have never suffered a mental illness, it seems so many people struggle with this issue of loving your whole self, and having self confidence.

Loving yourself means being patient with yourself. It means understanding that you are not perfect. You will make mistakes.  Some mistakes are harmless, some may be so big that you never think you can forgive yourself, but forgive you must.  We are only human.  Mistakes are a part of life.  If there are mistakes that you need to resolve, then take that first step.  Create a plan to resolve those mistakes, and start moving forward.  If you have hurt others along the way, then mend those issues. Be the first to apologize, and move ahead to find a resolution.  When you learn to be patient with yourself, you are learning how to love yourself more fully.

Being too dependent on others is a risky business to be in.  There were times I couldn’t even be alone, ever.  I had to fill the void in my life with people and things.  How many of us have to have the TV on all the time just to have noise?  Are you comfortable just sitting in perfect silence, with no music, TV, phone, or any other distractions? Are you comfortable just sitting there with you, your own thoughts, and nothing more?  I am totally guilty of using distractions.  Back in my anxiety days, I would have rather died than sit there alone in silence, with nothing but my overwhelming, anxious thoughts.  To fully gain our own self confidence, and self love, we need to come to the point where we can learn to be alone, and be ok with it.  Part of this is learning to accept that everything in life will one day leave us.  Everyone dies, and material possessions are fleeting.  We don’t know what life holds for us, but if we can learn to believe in ourselves, believe in our ability to take care of ourselves, then we can handle anything that may come our way.

I cannot stress the importance of watching your thoughts.  Write down your negative thoughts, and take a look at what you are constantly thinking about. You must incorporate 10 minutes of pure silence every day. Let your emotions come to the surface and acknowledge all of them. Do not belittle yourself for the thoughts and feelings that come up during your meditation. Instead take a look at them and then tell those thoughts that you are going to let them go now, and then find a center of peace. Imagine yourself in the most peaceful place you can dream of, and stay there. Throughout the day, constantly give yourself affirmations about yourself.  I am strong. I am capable.  I can take care of myself.  I can handle any situation that life may bring.  I am beautiful. I am handsome.  I am a good person.  I can achieve my dreams.  Whatever you want to see in your life, affirm it to yourself daily. Start adding these simple strategies and you will start seeing changes in yourself.

It’s time to become your best friend.  You are stuck with you for life, so start to love you. Forgive yourself, be patient with your weaknesses.  Don’t be so dependent on others.  Stop seeking approval from everyone else, and seek it from yourself.  You are magnificent, and it’s time you see that. Your potential is limitless, go find it. Don’t let anyone or anything get it your way of finding your self confidence.

“You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust.You were born with ideals and dreams.You were born with greatness. You were born with wings. You are not meant for crawling, so don’t. You have wings. Learn to use them and fly.” ―Rumi

Hope On. Journey On.

Jenna